It was not my first time living abroad. After being in Canada for 1.5 years, I feel it has broadened my insights about the importance of networking. This can relate to job hunting, social life, your connection to society, and how comprehensively you can perceive this society. I have met many newcomers and international students (or graduates) like me. Frankly, most of them return to doing the things they did in their daily life.

If you are an introvert, have never lived in overseas countries, and want to find a job that is not technical or requires a professional license, then I recommend that you prepare before going abroad. Mentality, in order of importance, is crucial.

First, I think the biggest asset in Canada is “people.” Almost everything that a school can teach you can also be learned in your country. What matters is the “people” you can meet in the process of learning these things. Being able to have in-depth exchanges with the most people who can inspire you in the shortest time will be the greatest help and change this city can bring to your life. Therefore, the following suggestions will focus on “preparing for social occasions in Canada.”

I sincerely believe that if you work in something that has no speciality but have absolutely no ability to connect with strangers socially, the city will be very grateful for your financial contribution to the tax authority.

1. Prepare money, lots and lots of money. According to the proof of financial resources at NUMBEO, the minimum cost of living in Toronto is CAD 1531.3 a month (without rent), but you will be very miserable with this amount. Unless you have other profitable professional skills, you definitely don’t want to work as a cheap laborer here. After all, your competitors will be refugees and low-level workers from all over the world. All of them are harder-working and harder-working than you. Are you willing to take less money and live in worse conditions? It is almost impossible for your replaceble skills to make you money in a short period of time. Because this city is also full of people who are not short of money. Even if they are not short of money, they still dream of an opportunity to live here. They are better educated than you, have more connections, and are willing to work for free just for an “opportunity.” If you don’t have basic connections and social credibility in the English-speaking world, having worked at an Interntional brand back to your country may not necessarily be of any help. Most local people are emotional animals and would rather work with 60% of their internal referral than with 80% of strangers.
2. Start training your language skills and confidence in your mother tongue. At the very least, you need to be able to clearly and effectively communicate the ideas you want to express and demonstrate your personality. If you often go into job interviews or first dates and feel like, “They haven’t seen who I really am,” then you’re just not ready. The ideal situation is that you can start a communication with any stranger in a social situation, and in a short period of time you can show some of your personal characteristics and observe the other person’s personality traits. It doesn’t matter if your English is terrible. Many people here are terrible at English, but poor English is not the main reason that prevents you from making friends, but your confidence in expressing your words.
3. Find the few personalities you value most. By Observing the good friends around you, what makes you like getting along with them (rather than just being friends because you just met them)? It can be any characters: kind-hearted, outspoken, ambitious, talented, confident, funny, naive, assertive, etc. This will be the starting point for you to meet new friends and choose your social circle. Everyone in this city understands the game of social class. Unless you are a top player, purposeful social attempts will send you directly back to your hometown. Please choose your friends based on your personality traits from the bottom of your heart.
4. Carefully and thoroughly study the differences between Perception and Perspective, and how they affect each other. It’s not that you need to find a standard answer, but when you think about this question, it can help you accept completely different values ​​​​more quickly, and it can also help you get rid of the values ​​​​instilled in you by your native society and family faster. It allows you to start slowly. You can create your own values. This will affect your attitude and reaction when you face culture shock and self-identity difficulties in the future.
5. You can’t be a “shy” person. This does not mean that you cannot be an introvert. “Introversion” does not mean “shy.” You can stay in your room for a week and make all the friends you want in a two-hour social gathering, but if you are shy about expressing your opinions and ideas and are afraid of being disliked, then the best outcome for you is that no one will dislike you, and no one will like you, because no one notices your existence at all.
6. Have the courage to be hated. Have the courage to challenge someone you don’t like. Have the courage to stand up for yourself when your comments (or a friend) are challenged, no matter who it is (remember this is a social setting, not a workplace setting). This is the key moment that can most directly demonstrate your personality value, and it is also the most effective and quickest moment to distinguish between “others” and “your own people.” It is also the moment when people whose social class is higher than yours will become interested in you. Even if disputes occur, most people will forget who you are after a week.
7. Train yourself to “try to” ignore the superficial values ​​of capitalist society. If you are the person whose eyes light up when seeing a Lamborghini and take out a selfie with your phone, then to them you are not as good as the person next to you in uniform pouring drinks. By the same token, if you’re carrying a Gucci bag in front of them, you’d better have a good reason why you like the bag.
8. Complaining will not help you at all. You will feel the gap in values, worldview, and self-confidence caused by colonial countries and social classes, which made you lose at the starting point three generations before fertilization. This may be the ultimate luck and luck of your life. A gap that no matter how hard you try, you can’t catch up. But complaining about anyone will not bring you any help, and it is 200% a waste of time. Learning to play the bad cards dealt by God is a task for everyone in the world. If you can’t pass this test, keep practicing. You will eventually figure out the rules.

Once you build your own social circle, you’ll find how fascinating the diverse people in this country are. Some people will give you opportunities that you have never dreamed of in your life, some people will give you inspiration that makes you suddenly enlightened overnight, and some people will make you suddenly see your shortcomings that you have never discovered. But the prerequisite is that you must have the basic ability and mentality to build these relationships; otherwise, it will have nothing to do with you. When the visa expires, you are still the same person, but the bank has one million less.

These are the thoughts that I want to tell the old me before I went to overseas country. It may not applicable to everyone but just personal opinions that I want to share to introverts who think like me.